Your Boulevardier's Foolproof Plan for Balancing California's Budget

Step 1: Post a CHP officer at the Redwood Road onramp to westbound I-580.

Step 2: Ticket all motorists who don't yield to pedestrians in in the crosswalk, don't stop for a red light, and/or talk on their phones without using a hands-free device.

Problem solved!

Curbing Your Enthusiasm

Some government money must have broken loose somewhere, because there's a rash of sidewalk ramp installations going on around Castro Valley.

Your Boulevardier noticed the pylons and diggers on Redwood Road north of Castro Valley Boulevard last week. Today, he found several demolitions on The Boulevard. The two photos below were taken at Stanton and Strobridge respectively.

Certainly when the projects are complete the sidewalks and curb cuts will be better for pedestrians -- particularly those in wheelchairs or parents pushing strollers. But for the time being, the work makes getting around quite difficult. The construction at Stanton is particularly disruptive to pedestrians because there is a) no warning that the work is coming; and b) no way around it except to walk in traffic. This at an intersection where motorists rarely bother to look for pedestrians in the first place.


The demolition at Strobridge is curious because the crews have removed only the middle part of an already-existing ramp. Your Boulevardier assumes this is to put down the sort of bumpy rubber surface that many such ramps have.

The strangest ramp installations in Castro Valley occur where there are no sidewalks. (Longtime readers may recall postings in which Your Boulevardier griped about the mysterious pride some Castro Valleyans have in their lack of sidewalks; to some, it's a contributor to our "rural feel." To Yours Truly, lack of sidewalks only contributes to muddy shoes in the winter and impolite, pedestrian-hostile parking year-round.) Your Boulevardier knows he has seen some of these unattached ramps, but has not cataloged them for publication here. Perhaps he will do so in the near future.

The Drink's On Me

This juxtaposition of billboards on Castro Valley Boulevard caught Your Boulevardier's eye this morning.



One would not suggest that alcohol and soda are equally bad for young people (or for adults, for that matter). However, a good case can me made that neither one is very good for a person. Soda in quantity -- the billboard advertises 100 ounces for a family of four as a possible serving size -- provides a great deal of carbohydrates and little else. Those 25 ounces would deliver 75 grams of carbohydrates -- largely in the form of high fructose corn syrup, which some say is worse than good old glucose.

We have excellent tap water in Castro Valley. Perhaps that's the best choice of all.

Changing the Locs

As noted earlier on these pages, half of the former storefront occupied by Vella's Locker Room will become a bike shop. (There's now a business card taped in the window as well; Your Boulevardier forgot to make note of the shop name.) The shopping center management company, in preparation for its new tenant, has removed the signage over that part of the center.


This move, to Your Boulevardier, makes no sense. If one is going to bring in the equipment and personnel to remove part of the sign, remove all of it. One cannot imagine a scenario in which the shop occupying the left half of the building is going to want any part of the old signage.

At Least The Sign Is Polite

Your Boulevardier recently came across this sign on a building on Castro Valley Boulevard.


It's a sensible request. The structure to which the sign is affixed is a residential building, and is close to several retail establishments, including a tobacco shop, that might attract people who are inclined to sit or walk. Chances are the sign was posted because persons sitting or walking on the wall below the sign were disturbing the residents therein.

While handmade, the sign is clear, practical, and direct. With the exception of a stray hyphen and some random capitalization, the sign is grammatically acceptable. (Your Boulevardier was an English major and tends to be a stickler about punctuation and capitalization, so perhaps this is his personal bugaboo.)

What's more, the sign is certainly polite. Not everyone uses what Mère de Boulevardier (and most every other mère, for that matter) called "the magic word." In total, there's much to admire about the sign's intention and implementation

But there is a problem. As can be seen in the photo below, the arrows on the sign point to a concrete curb, not a brick wall. If a person were to take the sign literally, he or she could sit or walk on the curb with impunity. But that would most certainly violate the spirit, if not the letter, of the sign.

Such are the quandaries when one walks about in Castro Valley, trying to obey the rules.

What's Happened to Hutch's?

Your Boulevardier has been taking his vehicle to Hutch's Quik Lube and Car Wash off and on for decades. Of late he has just used the Quik Lube and let the free carwash certificates pile up in the glove compartment, but today he decided to go the whole nine yards.

The oil change was fine, but the car wash was not.

First, the worker greeted Your Boulevardier as "boss." Why this annoys, one cannot precisely say -- but it does. Perhaps it seems vaguely reverse-classist; I'm a customer, yes, but I'm not the boss. Then began a hard-sell of an upgraded carwash. Your Boulevardier drives a pickup truck, and the vehicle does not require an upgraded anything. After the employee finally agreed to just provide the service that was included with the oil change, the vehicle was left in the vacuum bay.

Eventually the pickup came out the wash and was driven to a spot in the bright sun -- and left there. Nobody dried the car for at least ten minutes; by then, why bother? When the wiping was done (sloppily) and the Armor All was applied to the tires (again sloppily) the employee waved a towel and shouted "truck!" She then proceeded to show off her bloody knuckle to Your Boulevardier; why, it is not clear.

Upon entering the vehicle, Your Boulevardier found that the vacuum job was mediocre at best. It's freely admitted that this vehicle is not easy to vacuum, but a little more care to get crumbs and dog hair from between the seats would have been easy and paid big dividends. There was even dirt remaining under the floor mats.

One other thing to note: Hutch's used to provide a postpaid comment card, coupons for future visits, and a rewash guarantee with all washes. No longer. Perhaps they really don't want to know how they did and don't want their customers to return. It can be arranged.

It pains Your Boulevardier to post a curmudgeonly gripe like this on the blog, but it was not a good experience at Hutch's today.